Charlie Sheen announces “My Violent Torpedo of Truth” comedy tour

By Ray Roa on March 11th, 2011 in

Just when it looked the world’s supply of tiger blood had run dry, Charlie Sheen has injected new life into his self-manifested media maelstrom: The 45-year-old actor has announced that he’ll be pulling a Conan and going on tour.

On the heels of his firing from Two and a Half Men, Sheen has scheduled two appearances as a part of what he’s calling the “Fastball; My Violent Torpedo of Truth/Defeat is Not an Option Show.”

Detroit is the lucky recipient of the first show on April 2nd, and Chicago gets the winning treatment the very next day. Tickets go on sale tomorrow at 12 p.m. CST, and prices range from $35-70. Sheen’s own description of the performance basically poses a slew of questions, but there’s apparently a good chance that attendees will experience “laughter, screaming, truth, and mayhem,” and he even suggested that there might be a question-and-answer section.

It may all seem like too much for one person to handle, but don’t worry Chuck has that all figured out. He’s reaching out to up-and-coming social media gurus and hiring an intern to help him “leverage his social network.” An application on Internships.com says that the position “will allow a hard-working, self-motivated, creative, resourceful, and social media savvy individual” the opportunity to work closely with the Warlock himself. Interested persons can submit their 75-character application here, but everyone else can try to snatch tickets to Sheen’s onstage manifesto on Ticketmaster.com.

There’s a lot to take in, but if it all comes crashing down, then the world can always look forward to McDonalds’ newest creation – the McWinning sandwich.

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