#NEWS : A very 'Glee' Christmas: We watch so you don't have to

By Lisa de Moraes

Merry Christmas, from the glee club. They won't let anyone take away their holiday spirit.(Fox)

WaPo Team TV's Emily Yahr writes:

Sabotage, heartbreak, deception, gifts -- sounds like a Christmas episode of "Glee." Sudden, random dispensing of all sad plotlines to hurriedly wrap things up happily ever after -- sounds even more like a Christmas episode of "Glee"!

"Glee," where plot consistency goes to die, wrapped up the first half of the season with one of its more nonsensical episodes, once again trying gamely to wrap a storyline around songs that will be sold on iTunes and in an album. This should have been easy this week, given that the tunes all had a Christmas theme -- but, turns out, not so much.

On to the episode:

SABOTAGE

Guess who doesn't love Christmas? If you said Sue Sylvester, you'd be correct. The forever track-suited cheerleading coach does not enjoy holidays in which the main themes are "cheer" and "joy" and "giving to others." So Sue rigs the McKinley High School staff's Secret Santa program, and all the staffers draw a slip of paper with her name on it. When the other staffers discover her crime, Sue refuses to return the presents, or give them to homeless kids. Glee club coach Will and the other staffers take back the gifts anyway while she's not around, but then stupidly leave them under a tree in the glee club room -- because, hey, this is "Glee." Sue disguises herself as the Grinch who stole Christmas and she and faithful Becky break into the glee club room and destroy their tree, decorations, sheet music and even the piano. Vandalism of school property apparently is not a crime in Gleeville.

Anyway, Sue-as-Grinch also steals the presents from under the tree that were intended for homeless kids -- of course she does! Because, you see, she hates the glee club and glee club coach Will's hair. You had to be there.

HEARTBREAK

In case you've forgotten the place in the Rachel-Finn saga, they are currently "off" because she made out with Puck last week, and Finn's not pleased. Even after Rachel sings "Merry Christmas, Darling," especially for him, and they duet with "Last Christmas" while shopping for Christmas trees, Finn tells her he simply can't forgive her for what she and Puck did. And yet, soon thereafter, Finn is seen walking down the hall at school prattling merrily with Puck. Once Finn gets one foot on the ground, he's really quite a jerk, isn't he? Anyway, Finn and Rachel are through. Forever. Until the next sweep.

Also, Emma and Carl are still married after their quickie Vegas wedding. Will, devastated, decides to spend Christmas alone, wearing truly heinous sweater vests.

Kurt's at his new school, and in a scene totally removed from the other storylines at hand, performs the duet "Baby, It's Cold Outside" with Blaine, in a fancy private-school study room with leather couches and a roaring fireplace. It's the highlight of the episode, on so many levels. Blaine is now officially the object of Kurt's affections, but Blaine has not returned Kurt's love, so ... heartbreak.

DECEPTION

Meanwhile, Brittany -- who thinks that dolphins are just gay sharks and her cat reads her diary -- still believes in Santa Claus, who is sometimes a white guy, sometimes a black guy, sometimes Coach Beiste. Brittany's boyfriend, Artie decides to play along and persuades the glee club to play too. Brittany tells Santa all she wants for Christmas is for wheelchair-bound Artie to be able to walk. The glee guys ask Coach Beiste to break into Brittany's house and give her the harsh truth about Artie not being able to walk, ever. If it weren't so creepy, it would be sweet. But it is so creepy. Anyway, Coach Beiste does that little thing and Brittany is crushed to learn Santa may not be magical after all.

But after all this, guess what? It's nearly time for the episode to end and its many holiday tunes to go on sale. So, some mystery person (Coach Beiste?) suddenly gifts Artie a mechanical contraption, allowing him to stand up and walk. Brittany believes in magic again. The glee kids sing for McKinley High teachers, who donate money so the gang can still give something to the homeless kids after Sue stole their presents. And Sue is so touched by it all, she breaks in to Will's house and returns all the gifts, and decorates Will's Christmas tree with the help of the glee club. That she hates.

And we heard Fox exclaim, ere "Glee" vanished from sight,

"Buy these songs on iTunes and to all a good night."

Christmas set list:

"The Most Wonderful Day of the Year"
"We Need a Little Christmas"
"Merry Christmas, Darling"
"Baby, It's Cold Outside"
"Last Christmas"
"Welcome Christmas"

[Note: "Glee" will be on hiatus until Feb. 6, when it will air after the Super Bowl. Get excited for a Katie Couric guest appearance! Seriously.]

Rachel Berry sings "Merry Christmas, Darling":

Kurt and Blaine sing "Baby, It's Cold Outside":

voices.washingtonpost.com

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