Poor, poor Cheryl - she's in hospital with malaria

• Posted by: 3am
• 06/07/10
• 12:00 am

We're going to have to put our serious medical hats on for a minute to bring you some genuinely shocking news - Cheryl Cole has contracted malaria.

Yesterday, it was assumed her dramatic collapse at a photoshoot was a result of her hectic work schedule, but it's now emerged that she caught the tropical disease after getting bitten by a mosquito during her romantic break - pretty much her only break of any kind in many months, in fact - with Derek Hough a few weeks ago.

She's now being treated at London's Cromwell Hospital, and is expected to spend at least three nights there. She was admitted for urgent tests on Sunday night after her collapse, and now has Derek (OK, so we guess he is officially her actual boyfriend then) by her side while she recovers.

"He’s mortified by what’s happened and is utterly devastated what she’s going through, not least because it happened on a trip he’d planned," says a... we were going to say a fly on the wall, but that seems a little inappropriate. "He will always be there for her and his presence has cheered her up no end. It’s the exact tonic she needs to get through this. She really is quite poorly but at least the results came back quickly so the doctors can focus on giving her the right treatment. She had been taking malaria tablets while away on holiday and when she came back again but she still tested positive for the disease."

We've also heard that Simon Cowell has ordered her to take as much time off from X Factor auditions as she needs, telling her "I don’t want to see you back until you are well enough. Just rest and concentrate on getting better." Aww, we hope he stops by and gives her a cuddle with his big hairy arms.

Another source has scoffed at speculation that she'd been overdoing it. "All this stuff about Cheryl burning the candle at both ends and working too hard is just nonsense," they said. "Cheryl always operates at a million miles an hour, in fact she thrives on it. It’s the way she’s always been and things haven’t changed. But this time she found herself up against something that she couldn’t beat. It’s such a shame as she had such a lovely holiday with Derek and has such lovely memories of it. Still, it’s just one of those things and her focus at the moment is on getting better."

Every other report you read about this will probably throw in some nasty, scare-mongering stats about malaria. We're not going to do that - that's what Wikipedia's for - so we'll simply leave it at this: get well soon, Cheryl, and hopefully 2010 will stop being such a total shitter of a year for you.

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